Selacia Council of 12 Message for Jan. 2008: Part III - To Be Happy
Are you waiting for something to happen before you can be happy? What is stopping you from deciding to be happy right now? What about your past have you decided has spoiled your happiness? How much of your time do you spend reminiscing about something happy in the past, complaining about how you are not enjoying that now? When you are feeling discontented, how often is that feeling actually stemming from something occurring right now? How often do you worry about something in the future, preventing you from accessing a happy state in the present? Do you frequently find yourself daydreaming about an ideal situation you aren't able to have right now? When you remember that your past is not happening now and that your future is not guaranteed, what's keeping you from discovering how to be happy now? Are you aware of when you feel happy in the present moment, perhaps for no particular reason, but simply because you feel it?
Not knowing when you have enough. How much is enough? Do you have a healthy inner barometer that tells you when you are satisfied? Do you update your "enough gauge" throughout your life to reflect changing circumstances? Have you learned to be satisfied with what is appropriate for you, or do you measure your satisfaction by yardsticks others use or society sets? What does it take for you to feel content? Can you access feelings of inner contentment even after receiving troubling news? Do you know yourself well enough to confirm when you are satisfied, when something is missing, and what or how much more of something you truly need?
Focusing on what you do not have. Do you find yourself focusing on what you do not have, either complaining about the lack or worrying about what will happen if you don't get it? Is your list of what you don't have longer than your list of what you feel happy about having? How often do you question the things on your "must have" list, letting go of focusing on things that are no longer really relevant or needed?
Approaching life with a negative focus. Since it is common for humans to be conditioned to see life as a series of negative happenings, how much of the time do you allow your mind to cast a black shadow on your experiences? Do you find yourself thinking in a negative way a lot of the time? Do you sometimes do this even immediately following a happy event or receiving some very good news? How does this thinking spoil your happiness in the moment? Do you have a habit of expecting the worst in situations, and then when something bad does happen, reinforcing the pain by viewing it from a negative perspective? How often do you make the effort to contemplate the blessings and potential benefits of a distressing circumstance? What do you do to turn your thinking around? Can you let go of how big a mistake looks in the moment to see beyond the error and embrace a bigger picture?
Allowing negative emotions to rule your responses. How do handle destructive emotions? What have you done over the years to become more intelligent in how you deal with emotional states? Have you discovered what your own emotional response patterns are? Are you in touch with when you feel angry, sad, hurt, disappointed, and fearful? When you feel these things, how do you manage the feelings so they don't negatively color your responses and actions? When feeling angry, do you get on the phone and shout at a loved one with hurtful words? If feeling sad, do you withdraw from your outer world in a way that harms self or others? When someone hurts your feelings, do you impulsively act on the hurt, saying something mean? If you are disappointed by someone, do you find skillful ways to respond or do you allow resentment to sour your relationship? When feeling fear, do you take action based on the fear or allow your intuitively guided reason to prevail?
Associating happiness with artificial deadlines. What is your relationship with time and deadlines? Are you able to feel content when you discover that you have missed a deadline you set for yourself? When you set your own timeframe to get something done, can you be flexible with yourself if you need to adjust it, or do you become unhappy and blame yourself or others? How often do you update your deadlines to take into account shifts in life circumstances? How willing are you to cast aside artificial deadlines when they no longer make sense? If you were conditioned to expect a traditional funded retirement at age 65, and then discover that you won't have this, do you become unhappy and close your mind to ideas of how you could enjoy new sources of livelihood? Have you decided that you will become less and less happy as you grow older, or that your happy times are behind you?
Having expectations too low or too high. In what situations do you set expectations that are too low or too high? If you are learning something new, do you expect so little of your abilities that you set yourself up for failure? Do you have a habit of demanding perfection in some areas, setting up an unnecessary cycle of disappointments? What do you do to bounce back when something goes wrong?
Doubting you can change your circumstances. Do you believe you can change your circumstances? Do you think that it is within your power to at least change your experience of what is happening? When you remember your ability to change situations, what do you do to begin the process of change?
Needing to be in control. How important is it to you that you be in control? Do you find yourself trying to control things and people when it is not appropriate to do so? How often do you step back from situations long enough to realize that much of what is going on is outside of your control? Have you developed the ability to clearly know which things you can control? Knowing this, what actions do you take?
Lack of sufficient spirit connection. How much of your day are you connected with your intuitively guided reason and spirit? How well have you integrated spirit into everyday experiences? Do you find yourself forgetting to access your intuitive right brain, trying to force solutions with logic alone? Do you allow sufficient time for quiet inner reflection, connecting with your heart's wisdom? Are you so preoccupied with mundane concerns that you forget to include spirit as you problem-solve and relate to others? When you are in crisis, have you learned to trust your inner guidance about what to do next? Do you remember to access that guidance when feeling lost or in fear?
Seeking out companions with a negative focus. Do you seek out friends who continually complain and attempt to drag you into their negativity? Do you monitor how you feel when you spend time with others, noticing how you tend to go into a negative spiral of thinking or feeling after even brief encounters? Have you contemplated what pattern you have that could be allowing this scenario to continue, remembering that every relationship has the potential for helping you to evolve? What have you done to change how you interact with these friends?
Trying to make others happy when you are unhappy. Are you trying to make another person happy when you cannot be happy? Do you realize that you cannot help others have happiness when you do not know how to access the happy state yourself?
Being at "war" with what is. How often do you find yourself resisting what is and going to "war" with it? Do you sometimes notice, in hindsight, how your fight with circumstances has prolonged the difficulties? Do you see how your resistance leads to conflict and struggle, depleting your energy? Do you then realize that resistance prevents you from accessing happiness?
Inability to feel gratitude for small things. What does it take to inspire feelings of gratitude within you? Can you feel grateful for life's little pleasures, such as a sunny sky after weeks of rain or a warm bath at the end of your day? When you are experiencing hard times or a major challenge, do you sometimes slip into forgetting about your many blessings? In the midst of your temporary forgetfulness, can you move back into gratitude, remembering that your human life is precious, regardless of what is currently happening?
Moving Past Obstacles to Happiness
Right now, having contemplated some of the obstacles to happiness, you likely have more clarity about what is preventing you from being happy. Your state of mind is the key.
It helps if you can decide to be happy. Set your intent regularly to be happy with your life circumstances. Decide that you will be accepting of life events, rather than fighting them. Find something to be happy about, or at least grateful for, when in the midst of troubling situations. Decide you can be happy about something right now, instead of waiting for your circumstances to change.
Contemplate happiness, reflecting on what it really means.
Ask your Higher Self for input about your life path. Is there something you are doing or not doing that is affecting your underlying happiness? Is there something you are missing?
Do you believe you deserve to be happy, and if not, why not? What have you told yourself since childhood that you must have in order to be happy? Do you feel you must wait for happiness, and if so, why? Also, is this really true?
From the perspective of your soul, what could you be doing that's more in alignment with your higher purpose?
As you continue the journey of rediscovering your Divine nature, we surround you with our love and blessings. We are The Council of 12.
Copyright 2008 by Selacia * All Rights Reserved